Sunday, April 15, 2007

Mets Players Can't Drive

I’m not talking about driving the ball. We all know they can do that. Just check out this video from last year’s NLCS.

C’mon, that was funny.

But seriously, it looks like these guys just can’t drive. Not that I blame Mets’ pitcher Joe Smith. Parking in New York is anarchy. This guy gets it about right*, except he forgets to mention the race gangs and cannibalism. Personally, I think it’s like being in Mad Max, except trans-fats are banned and smoking will get you five-to-ten. Not quite Escape from New York, but similar.

Regardless of anything even remotely sane, shouldn’t Mets fans be a little disturbed by this little gem?

"The sign said 'No standing.' Well, I wasn't standing. I was parking," Smith said. "If they mean 'No parking,' shouldn't it say 'No parking?' I mean, I just figured they didn't want anyone standing there. I don't know why."

Uh, dude?

When standing is prohibited by signs or rules, no person shall stop a vehicle, attended or unattended, except temporarily for the purpose of and while actually engaged in expeditiously receiving or discharging passengers.

New York City Trafic Rules 4-08(a)(3)

I’m not saying professional baseball players are geniuses. If you lived in northern Kentucky southern Ohio, maybe there aren’t any real cities where there would be signs like that. We can’t all be Zach Grenkie, writing physics equations in our sleep.

But if a player on my favorite team can’t figure out the meaning behind a “No Standing” sign, my prospects for the season wouldn’t be too great. New York Mets 2007: “Your Season Has Come.”

Start Heilman! Oh wait...

Hat-tip: MLB AOL Sportsblog

*This is behind the Times-Select wall. It’s obnoxious and infuriating. However, if you go to, then they will give you a free password to that, and almost any other site. Enjoy!