Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Gimn Sovetskogo Soyuza*


Hello, Ryan. This is the MLBPA. It appears to us that you might have said something that you shouldn’t have. Luckily for you, we are here to help point out your mistake, and make sure that it doesn’t happen again.


You see, Ryan, when you played your first game in the major leagues, you made a commitment to us. Major League Baseball is a multinational corporation whose bourgeoisie owners rely solely on the labor of the proletariat that is the backbone of their enterprise. In the past, the bourgeoisie has felt that you are expendable, and that your efforts are replaceable, and that has forced us all to fight back. Because you have abilities that no one else has, you are obligated to your fellow players to receive the most amount of capital that you can. When you say that you are being “overpaid,” you give ownership an opportunity to replace us again, or pay us whatever they feel is charitable. You don’t want Jones to come back, do you Ryan?

Some animals are more equal than others. Like A-Rod.


Curt Flood received death threats to help you earn capital. Men have does so you can earn your capital. If you’re under the impression that you’re being “overpaid” when you are barely making over the league average salary, you are betraying the efforts of those who came before you. The union will take care of you, Ryan, but only when you make us.

So next time, Ryan, when you feel the need to say how lucky you are that you’re making the kind of money we fought so hard to get you, be sure to choose your words more carefully. We’ll be watching you. Good luck.



*Look it up, Philistines. A stirring rendition can be heard, here.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

To be a good human being is to procure a amiable of openness to the in the seventh heaven, an skill to group aleatory things beyond your own control, that can govern you to be shattered in unequivocally extreme circumstances pro which you were not to blame. That says something remarkably important relating to the get of the righteous passion: that it is based on a trustworthiness in the uncertain and on a willingness to be exposed; it's based on being more like a weed than like a sparkler, something somewhat feeble, but whose acutely item attraction is inseparable from that fragility.