Sunday, May 6, 2007

The Brewers are Doomed

Surprise, bitches. After what can liberally be called the 1st half of the season, the Milwaukee Brewers are atop their division for first time since Micheal Jackson was black. The Brewers’ history since then has been one of ignominious failure, losing most of their games with remarkable frequency. They’ve come around of late, due to some deals that have made the 2003 Curt Schilling hose job look like No! No! Nanette*, and the rest of the division (read: Cardinals! Cardinals! Cardinals!) being the poster children for organizational dysfunction.

This is sort of cute, because the Brewers really barely even qualify as a major league franchise. They play in the National League, which in some eras has been grounds for contraction. Their mascots are on par with most minor league teams, the slide is beyond kitschy, and has any prominent recent major leaguer even been the best player on the Brewers? Richie Sexon doesn’t count, and Roy Oswalt is better. Also, do we need to even get into the Mr. 3000 debacle? No other team would be comfortable being associated with such a travesty, but the Brewers felt right at home. The entire back story for the movie was that the Brewers were even historically bad, and they still said “ok?” Anything for publicity, right Uncle Bud?

At least it was better than Pride

Such a joke of a franchise can’t possibly be successful for this long, so naturally they’re doomed. Ben Sheets is bound to get re-injured sooner or later. Rickie Weeks, the second coming of Gary Sheffield, is going to start airmailing throws over 1st in no time. Eventually their players will become old enough to drink and all hell will break loose, with a sex boat cruise that makes the 2005 Minnesota Vikings look like the Mormon Tabernacle Choir in comparison. This is so obvious, it’s barely even a story.

Immerse yourselves in the waters of Lake Minnetonka

The real story will be what Bud Selig will do when the Brewers begin to falter. Will there be instant Vince Mcmahon-style rule changes? Sausage races counting as runs?** The infield fly rule extending to the 1st and 3rd base crowds? Sending in Bill Alphonso as the special guest umpire? The question is not will this happen (it must) but how hilarious will it be? Selig has always struck me as a feckless, doddering old coot, whose dealings with the steroids controversy reminds one of the Iran hostage scandal, but with far more disastrous global consequences. Bud should get his Vince on-- it’s not like his legacy can get any worse. All things considered, it’ll probably end up saving (at least in terms of entertainment) what will eventually become yet another lost season for the Brew-Crew.

*Nice job on that one, Joe Garagiola. It only cost you your reputation and career.
** This will, of course, have either the Pirates or Cubs re-sign Randall Simon. But considering the direction of those teams at this point it’s probably to be expected.

UPDATE: No comment from the peanut gallery?


Anonymous said...

Bud Selig doesn't even own the Brewers anymore and hasn't for a couple years. The new owner appears to really care about the fans and try to improve the team.

Real Debate said...

This may be the single dumbest post I have ever seen.

Congratulations for a new low in ass-hattery.

Anonymous said...

good grief, that was weak

James said...

If you're not going to be funny, at least throw out that Pythagorean Record statistic a lot of the other blogs are using to say the Brewers aren't as good as their record.

Even if Selig tried to rig the league in the Brewers favor, he'd probably just end up running over Prince Fielder while driving to lunch.

The Brewers play at Shea this weekend. See how that goes and save the "I told you so" comments until that series is over. Let us enjoy it while it's good.

robola said...

Wow, for the first time I actually kind of agree with Real Debate...

Wasn't John Jaha pretty good for the A's? B.J. Surhoff? Yeah, ok, forget about the entire 90's for the Brewers.

SlickBomb said...

C'mon, guys, tell me how you really feel.

Rickey Henderson said...

A capitol blog! Rickey approves. Check out Rickey's sometime:

Anonymous said...

that was just dumb, how about dropping a WHY somewhere in the article.

FaceMan said...

I want my 45 seconds back. What a waste of a read.

Anonymous said...

that was not funny at all. you are fucking retarded.

Andrew said...

I think the real question is how Deadspin though this was funny/relevant?

Oooh, no prominent major leaguers. Oooh, Bernie Mac's a gon a hit dem kids. Oooh, Bud Selig's cheats to win.

Wow. It's as if you came from 2003 to post this. Best. Post. Ever.

Anonymous said...

Was there a point anywhere in there? Or Humor, even?

rluzinski said...

Did you cut and paste every lame Brewer joke from the last decade to make that article? At least bring something new to the table.

Anonymous said...

slicky old boy,
After reading your latest post on Deadspin you seem to think you got roasted for belittling our Brewers. You seem to be missing the point- we can take getting dumped on, 20 years of futility will give you a thick skin. We took exception to the piss-poor post you threw up there. Poorly thought out, poorly constructed. Not amusing at all.
At least in this case, it's not us, it's you. Don't make me remind you about that river in Egypt.

Andrew said...

It's a Yankees fan, I shouldn't have been surprised.

Anonymous said...

酒店經紀 酒店打工 酒店工作 酒店上班 酒店兼差 酒店兼職 打工兼差 打工兼職 台北酒店 酒店應徵 禮服酒店 酒店 經紀 打工 兼差

Anonymous said...

[B]beachbody[/B] One more extremely important simple fact [B][URL=]p90x[/URL][/B] you will need to don't forget about How you can Start Muscle Creating and Extra fat Burning is [B][URL=]insanity[/URL][/B] you may need to make sure [B][URL=]p90x results[/URL][/B] you might find some of the greatest training programs, [B][URL=]p90x workout[/URL][/B] due to the fact they'll help you to develop all the muscle groups inside your system. [B][URL=]p90x diet[/URL][/B] Make sure that you are going to look for the enable of professional trainer for making [B]p90[/B] [B]p90x workout schedule[/B] come about.

Very first, when [B]workout review[/B] begin working to build the muscles, [B][URL=]p90x results[/URL][/B] would like to be extremely careful not to over do. [B][URL=]does p90x really work[/URL][/B] cannot build the muscle while [U]p90x schedule[/U] are lying around the back! What we mean by this is don't hurt yourself, because when [B][URL=]p90x reviews[/URL][/B] are hurt you are going to not be able to do [B]p90x calendar[/B] kind of weight lifting or physical exercise. Although [B][URL=]insanity fitness program[/URL][/B] must be working hard, [B]p90x workout[/B] [B]p90x nutrition guide[/B] can't overdue it!

Anonymous said...

Tiffany's is one of the most well known [U]tiffany jewellery uk[/U] brand names and design houses in the jewelry [B]tiffany[/B] business. The quality of service, customer satisfaction and the fine designs offered by [U][B]tiffany jewellery[/U][/B] the company are one of the best in their times. The company is primarily [B][URL=]tiffany pendants[/URL][/B] famous for its superb quality and artisanship.

However, as this amount of beauty and quality comes at [B]tiffany & co[/B] a price, there are many jewelry lovers who are just not able to pay [U][B]tiffany jewellery[/U][/B] the high price and look for suitable replicas instead. This is the [U][B]cheap tiffany and co jewelry[/U][/B] reason there are special [U]tiffany co][/U] designers that now offer beautifully made Replica Tiffany Jewelry and that too, at a much [B][URL=]tiffany bracelets[/URL][/B] lower price.

The Tiffany's is one [B]tiffany jewelry boxes[/B] of those brands that actually [B]tiffany jewelry store[/B] mark the onset of a classic style and design on its own. Some of the designs of this [B]tiffany sets[/B] brand name have become so common and popular, that they [B]best website to buy discounted tiffany jewelry[/B] are bound to be copied by artisans all over. These replicas are created either by [U][B]tiffany bracelets[/U][/B] using a mass production technique or by an individual jewelry designer who is striving to [U]tiffany engagement rings][/U] make a name for his services and capitalize on the original designs. These [U]authentic tiffany jewelry[/U] kinds of procedures have made the replica business [B]pandora bangles[/B] a very lucrative one, with scores of skilled designers [U]tiffany][/U] paying close attention to these designs and producing them effortlessly [U][B]tiffany jewellery uk[/U][/B] with same style and appeal.

It is important for [B]discount tiffany jewelry[/B]genuine jewelry lovers to notice that there are [B][URL=]pandora bangles[/URL][/B] fake designers who can pass off their imitations as genuine [U]pandora bangles[/U] replica Tiffany jewelry. Before you actually buy jewelry, make sure [U][B]tiffany rings[/U][/B] there is the mark Tiffany & Co., engraved on the [U][B]pandora bracelets[/U][/B] piece. By rule, all of replica Tiffany's jewelry carries an identification mark for the benefit of its customers.

Anonymous said...

Tiffany's jewelry is world famous company and if [B][URL=]tiffany rings[/URL][/B] you cannot afford the actual jewelry there are a lot of Tiffany inspired jewelry to choose from. While Tiffany's [B]tiffany jewelry[/B] has produced some more affordable pieces like key chains and money clips [U]pandora beads[/U] for those wanting the elegant pieces without the price tag there are other options. Tiffany produces bracelets, rings, earrings [U][B]tiffany earrings[/U][/B] and necklaces.

Besides the traditional Tiffany's style, the jewelry [B]tiffany[/B] comes in the traditional blue box and you can even find Tiffany inspired jewelry that [B][URL=]pandora[/URL][/B] reproduces the Tiffany style down to the box. Tiffany jewelry is traditionally sterling [U][B]tiffany[/U][/B] silver as the Tiffany Company has produced a special blend of silver that is very strong [U]pandora jewelry[/U] and will last.

It is not a direct replica but it is inspired from the Tiffany style so [B][URL=]tiffany[/URL][/B] many of the pieces are very similar to Tiffany. Some companies [U][B]pandora bracelets[/U][/B] may even produce direct replicas. The main difference between real Tiffany's jewelry [U]tiffany co[/U] and the inspired version jewelry is the price tag. They are just as beautiful [U][B]tiffany[/U][/B] and classic as the real ones but at much more affordable prices. If you aspire for [B]tiffany necklaces[/B] a piece of Tiffany's then you should investigate Tiffany inspired jewelry.

There are many different types of Tiffany inspired earrings [B]pandora bangles[/B] and many of them match the Tiffany pendants. There are open [B]tiffany charms[/B] heart earrings as well as circle of life earrings. There are [U]tiffany bracelets[/U] a variety of different bracelets and many [U][B]tiffany[/U][/B] still use the open heart charm design. There are multi chain [U][B]tiffany[/U][/B] bracelets, heart charm bracelets, puff heart toggle bracelets, link bracelets, cubic [U]tiffany pendants[/U] zirconium tennis bracelets, mesh buckle bracelets, silver [U]tiffany[/U] heart tag ID bracelets, double row cable bracelets and much more.

gaohui said...

Have you noticed ed hardy Clothing that she is spending time with ed hardy sale one person in particular ed hardy and they seemed to come from ed hardy UK nowhere. When you ask how she ed hardy cheap knows them she becomes aloof and ed hardy Clothes disinterested. Is there someone's house ed hardy store she seems to be always going to? This could spell something is wrong with the christian audigier sale relationship. Is she taking trips, possibly day ed hardy dresses trips or small vacations without you? If ed hardy Polos she was doing this before you even ed hardy sandals got married or dated, then it may be okay, but if it is a recent ed hardy Jackets development then you may have problems.

Anonymous said...

[url=]louise vuitton preise[/url]

Schnellsuche täglich , dass Himmel endete als neben die neue Nebel , Unsicherheit , eine neue small Anzahl Transport A größer Mann Mann im Strand spazieren gehen, über vielen Funktionen, Chan Po-chu denken this Füße gewesen hämmern , nicht mehr erzeugen wenig noa Energie, dennoch in der langfristig sie weiter Chew das Thema , sie einfach nur set Leute nach zurück.
[url=]Louis Vuitton Handtaschen[/url]

Anonymous said...





Anonymous said...

ï»?The ideal amounts are 40% of protein and carbohydrate and only 20% of fat Edie tries to get the women to convince Susan that Mike is bad for her[url=]Nike Andrew Luck Jersey[/url]
but Susan is sure he's the one However[url=]russell wilson Womens jersey[/url]
Legendre Take it registered only marks CE consumer electronics company[url=][/url]
personally designed the CE mark Erin Andrews ? She is ESPN's sideline princess no more! After appearing on Dancing With the Stars[url=][/url]
Andrews parlayed her celebrity (and her ESPN contract negotiations) into a promotion from sideline reporter to College GameDay co-host and feature reporter99Tony Dungy (Overcoming Adversity: Sharing the American Dream)Amazon Price: $9
ï»?The screen name that the user chooses is thus visible for all the services availed on that particular website There were the movies that made him a bankable star ? namely Tommy Boy and Black Sheep"The next two weeks could be nice for NFL fans or so naughty even the lump of coal in the stocking might not turn into a diamond Why is it beneficial to overcome public speaking phobias[url=]Nike Andrew Luck Jersey[/url]
to be able to deliver quality presentations[url=]Andrew Luck Jersey[/url]
seminars and speeches First[url=][/url]
every speech is an opportunity to present information[url=]russell wilson authentic jersey[/url]
product offerings[url=]Adrian Peterson Womens Jersey[/url]
and viewpoints to an audience Leading the Buffalo Bills to sweet victory after victory Buffalo finally felt recognized as a town for something other than blizzards[url=]Andrew Luck Authentic Jersey[/url]
and unemploymentpng);background-repeat: no-repeat;} p

Anonymous said...

[url=]mBocejZoasXgSjfF[/url] - ZqzHRqidiE ,

Anonymous said...

The amount oF FunFs that gets put in on marketing reaches the tens oF millions anF success may be tricky [url=]Louis Vuitton Outlet[/url]
measure. Promotional baggage are this sort oF an uncomplicateF concept, purchase them in vibrant viviF colors anF jazzy layouts anF everyboFy will want 1 get the community [url=]louis vuitton knolckoffs[/url]
take your title anF branF [url=]louis vuitton knolckoffs[/url]
all Forms oF areas wherever they'll get seen. These sorts oF proFucts are a very subtle way [url=]Louis Vuitton kopierte Tasche kaufen[/url]
get your branF name recognizeF..

Anonymous said...

Your own house owners insurance coverage can certainly give you satisfaction. Yet there are some items a standard property owners insurance coverage will not protect. Some of the people products might even shock you. It pays to recognize all of them earlier to avoid troubles when making claims to the company. Listed below are nine of them. Website ;>

Anonymous said...

We should understand the insurance we need. In different company the proprietor have to know the essential idea of which kind of company he or she specifically likely to work and the components of the company we should usually analysis regarding the company starting with. The particular paperwork lawful formality and more elements that must be taken within think about. You will find several query which should end up being think about and reply it all. Visit Website ;>

Anonymous said...

Dangers Associated with Your Home Business chwilówka ;> Area by which it is authorized
kredyty chwilówki określ potrzeby Market correctly proven that, one out of every five people own the 2 wheeler.

Anonymous said...

Along with stage payments and the buildup of cash beliefs, whole life insurance policy is a good alternative with regard to lengthy-range targets. Aside from long lasting lifetime insurance coverage basic safety, Total Life Insurance coverage encompasses a savings component that allows you to definitely create money value on a tax-deferred schedule. The particular policyholder can end or even give up the whole life insurance coverage policy at any time plus get the cash worth. Some complete life insurance coverage insurance policies might produce money ideals better than the particular assured quantity, depending on curiosity crediting rates and the method the marketplace works. The money beliefs associated with entire life insurance policies might be affected by a life insurance carrier's long term efficiency. Not like total insurance coverage insurance policies, which have assured cash beliefs, the cash ideals of variable life insurance coverage insurance policies are certainly not assured. You may have the best in order to borrow against the cash associated with your whole term life insurance policy on a mortgage base. Supporters associated with total term life insurance state the money well worth of a life insurance policy must compete effectively to fastened income purchases.
chwilówka znajdz ;<

Your homeowners insurance coverage will cover your own loss in case of fire, are, super, and windstorm. When a power spike programs through your neighborhood and problems your $4, 500 home theater system, you will have to fork on the money to get it fixed or even changed.
kredyt bez bik gdzie pozyczac

Anonymous said...

That which you must know regarding PLPD auto insurance PLPD car insurance refers to individual responsibility (PL) plus real estate damage (PD) insurance coverage. PLPD insurance plan meets the state minimum amount needs to work a vehicle on the highway. It is important to remember, however , that it doesn't consist of extensive or accident insurance coverage. PLPD auto insurance is normally a great suit for people traveling an old car, individuals with excessive factors on their license, or even those merely with limited funds. In depth and collision protection options include significant cost to an auto insurance plan. For this reason a basic PLPD auto insurance plan without these coverage choices could be so affordable. levitra znajdz opinie So what are you currently waiting for? Start keeping these days. If you want to see that has the cheapest rates in your town select one of the links beneath to visit an insurance evaluation site that I personally use. Good luck! To obtain a free of charge estimate today simply click this link: online wazne link So , even though you will get a gist of the price ranges being offered by the numerous insurance firms via auto insurance rate assessment graphs, you will need to visit the web site from the insurance provider regarding specific information and accurate quotations. do mojej witryny

Anonymous said...

Be sure you may plan for complete life insurance coverage for that long term , nor buy whole life insurance policy until you may afford it. You should purchase all the safety you require today when you are fresh, and if you happen to cannot afford complete life insurance, at least get Term. That's whole life insurance policy guidelines have the absolute best payments it can insurance to your complete lifestyle, irrespective of whenever you pass on. The level high quality plus fixed death profit make entire life insurance policy really appealing to some. In contrast to some other kinds of long lasting insurance, along with complete life insurance coverage, it's possible you'll not really lower your superior obligations. strona internetowa In case your commerce is really a home run company then you definitely need to make sure that you work with an insurance provider professional that is extremely important, to know the existing operation and also the potential operation from your own home through those of expert so that you can secure your protection properly. pożyczki pozabankowe Twoje 30 dni one Lower the insurance in case your car is old. You may not need impact coverage for an older vehicle model. Crash insurance will pay for the damage a person inflict on your automobile, also it could be removed if the car will be old plus home owner it really is more cost-effective than restoring it. chwilówki nowoczesne przez net

Anonymous said...

Id kredyty chwilówki ile dostanę There are many stuff that go wrong whenever leaving the country and those helping in HM Military going abroad frequently might excel to become ready and make use of the particular procedures available to them. Most people believe that they do not need insurance policy since nothing at all may happen for them, but it is definitely preferable to end up being secure compared to sorry. There is absolutely no way of telling whenever something unforeseen will be held at like a lack of package or personal belongings in transit or any sort of accident whilst off duty requiring hospitalization when you do not want the price to become a problem when it is not being included in the Michael. O. Deb. chwilówki With so many commercials about different plans and plans just about everywhere, it could obtain puzzling to understand exactly what it is usually that is effectively for you. But learning the best policy for implies that you need to understand what insurance coverage will be. What exactly is it that you need to know about life insurance coverage? Insurance coverage will be, very merely, an awareness in your way on the path to the life insurance provider: a person accept to pay a specific amount towards the firm every month and the firm confirms to pay the sum total to your family or nominee right after your own loss of life. All in all, you receive the particular peace of mind that your family members will be at least economically secure need to something happen to you. Various businesses give you different life insurance coverage programs. Some procedures might be phrase programs '" that is for any set period of time; and others might be lifestyle programs '" that is, until the day you die. Every strategy needs you to definitely pay out a premium for your plan that you simply buy. You have the choice of having to pay the particular premium with an annual schedule as well '" which could help you save the problem associated with monthly pointers. pożyczki pozabankowe

Anonymous said...

That which you have to know regarding PLPD car insurance PLPD car insurance describes personal responsibility (PL) plus property damage (PD) insurance. PLPD insurance coverage satisfies the state minimum amount needs to work an automobile on the highway. It is very important remember, nevertheless , that it does not consist of comprehensive or collision protection. PLPD auto insurance is usually a great suit for people generating an old vehicle, people with extreme factors on the permit, or even those simply on a tight budget. Comprehensive plus accident insurance choices add significant price for a car insurance policy. This is why a simple PLPD car insurance policy without these insurance coverage options can be so affordable. viagra dla faceta Most insurance plans possess exclusive prices with regard to young couples or families and many of the time children under a particular age group are covered by insurance free of charge. Some insurance plans protect the family yet only if all of the people travel together, but there are also people who provide impartial travel cover, allowing loved ones going separately or different places and still be covered by insurance. cialis gdzie kupic Within each case though, it comes with an additional individual worried. This business should make good monetary decisions to stay in business and offer insurance coverage. This is the reason they will occasionally say they will just pay a certain degree of your invoice. For example , finding a policy possessing a $3, 000 limit is usual. Wiecej o autorze