Thursday, March 29, 2007

No More Tommy John?

This is pretty remarkable. According to an article in the NY Times, therapies are being developed with stem cells from umbilical cord blood that can erase the need for Tommy John Surgery. Injections of primitive stem cells done on rats to repair ligaments and tendons by one doctor has been deemed successful. Good enough for me! Supposedly the technology to do something like this is 3-5 years away. This means that Dontrelle Willis will pitch in the future. Prior and Wood will not.

Seriously Dontrelle. Beat the rush… get TJ surgery now.

Let’s think about this.

The technology works in rats.
Randy Johnson is the most rat-like player in MLB.
Ergo, this technology will work in Randy Johnson.

It is logical.

The ornery old SOB can pitch until he’s 80! I mean, the NL West is where careers go to die, right?* More on this later. Regardless of anything remotely sane, questions abound from this technology. Whose to say that someone just injects the stuff in the arm at the start of the season to keep themselves from tiring? If you can grow new ligaments, why not get TJ surgery with brand new ligaments when you’re like 9 and then throw 105 mph for the rest of your life? Aren’t these all performance enhancing drugs??? The best thing about this series of tubes called the Internet is that it’s the only place where we can anonymously scream at each other about matters such as these that will never even remotely concern us. You know, unless you’re Curt Schilling. Who was teammates with Randy Johnson! Kevin Bacon that, people.

No sir, not at all homoerotic. Not one bit.

*Also see Bronx, New York 2003-2006.