Thursday, July 26, 2007

Emo Over Utley



Do you know who I am? Of course you do. I’m the lead Singer of My Chemical Romance. I’m the pagan god of losers and emo fan boys everywhere. I write with oDDLy pLaCeD capital letters because it helps me identify with people who don’t know how to spell. I also can fuck any 13 year old in the country, and that’s girls are well as boys, because they think white hair and pseudo-satanic band outfits are sexy. They also think real bad asses like a 1980’s Motley Crue are macho dickheads, and naturally, I agree.

Are you feeling isolated? Are you feeling alone, angry, and afraid? You must have been a fan of Chase Utley, young friend, and that is why I am here. You see, when something so tragic happens in your life that you become a naked little ball of pre-pubscent emotion, that’s where I come in. I play my little guitar, I rock out in weird costumes, I wear eye shadow, and I make it all go away for that 3:53.

Your friends and family might stand there and mock you about Utley’s injury. They might say “it’s just a game” or “he’s just some player” or “fantasy baseball isn’t real,” but what you’re hearing is “stop wearing makeup, you look like a fairy” or “when you see these pictures 20 years from now, you’ll want to die of shame” or "I'm serious, it's still won't help you get laid." Those words hurt, and when you’re feeling like you do (or more accurately, like WE do) all you have in this world are feelings. Isn’t that what Descartes said? They teach that in 6th grade, right? No? Anyway, don’t be so sad about Chase. All we can do right now to get over this is lean on each other. Or commit suicide (and for that I recommend song three).

I feel really, really, really, rEaLLy bad actually for my Philly fans. The team is always having such bad luck. To tell you the truth, the majority of my fans are from Philly...for some reason, my band and I just make life easier for people who always lose. My advice? Just let it all out in one good cry, and while you’re at it, enjoy this poem I wrote while I try to escape the lewd advances of Hannah Montana. It’s totally already up on my MySpace and Xanga.

When the World Collapses
And the *Stars* FAll down
Then love’s the only recourse
To keep my feet on solid ground.


/emo
Mood: Depressed (obvi)

35 comments:

Anonymous said...

hate it

Anonymous said...

mother f**ker
they are my life as shall be my death, and im not taking any s**t from a f**ker like you.

Anonymous said...

MCR ROCKS
EMO ROCKS
Is MCR EMO Oo

Anonymous said...

oI yoU wHO the Hell dO You ThiNK You Are mcr arE thE BesT mOuthErF**kInG BAnD In The WhOlE WorLd aNd aRE BetTER TheN YoU And YEs i WOulD SleEP WitH GerArd WAy COz He Is F**KiNG FiT!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

u r a pr**k and mcr rules and they r not emo you shood see th interview they gave u stupid tw*t u stupid mother ****** .

Ruth x said...

Alrightt.. well i fink ur funny haha! not even assed wat ur into coz ur fit matee.. u wud get it anyday!! but i were confuzed by everyelse that was written there! :D xx

Anonymous said...

don't know how I got here, don't really care. I just couldn't stop reading..too funny. All you f*ckers really can't spell? i barely could read that "ruth". How old are you? I learned "hAoUw 2 sPeL n dA fIrS gRaAde!#@!#!?!"

grow up all of you. If you really were fans of this band then you wouldn't make them look like bigger asses by proving that all their fans are f*cking retarded. Have some respect for yourselves, j*sus chr*st!

Anonymous said...

go f*ck yourself get a life and dont mess with gerard way and my chemical romance A**hole!

Anonymous said...

you fucking ass hole how dare you say that bout gerard way and mcr you should be shot. who in there right mind would say such horrible stuff bout one of the greatest bands in the world hope your pround of youself mother fucker. you make me feel sick.

Anonymous said...

amo a MCR ES LA MEJOR BANDA IN THE
WORLD sé cualquier cosa de ella la adoro desde que la oí me fascino
besos
besos y más............
besos




bye

Anonymous said...

You motherfucking asshole. if you post more of this type of shit i swear I will track you down and murder you. you have no idea how much that shit pissed me off.

Lukas said...

se nota ke no escucha buena musica pelotudo...

vos sos medio boludo conchudo de mierda o te ases??

seguro ke sos asi...

todo esto lo escribo escuchando musica de mCr, para repudiar tus boludeces... JUA JUA JUA BOLUDO!!!!
bueno, te digo esto nomas...











¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡MCR RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lukas... from MCRmy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

MCR rock as u can see form the rest of ur comments the world hates u so go shoot ur self
if i ever find u ill do the job myself mofo

Anonymous said...

you stupid mother fucker!!! mcr rocks!!! go fuck yourself!!! mcr is not emo, they're the best band alive...you ignorant son of a bitch!!!

Anonymous said...

how dare you talk about gerard way like that! fuck you! you don't know anything about mcr to be talkin shit like that about them, you should be castrated!!! they are the best band ever and you fucking suck!!! i want to fuckin find you and kick your ass! i think the whole world does, so do us all a favor and just go kill yourself!!! fuckin ass wipe!!!

Anonymous said...

kiss my ass!!!
mcr rocks!
fuckin ass hole!

Anonymous said...

don't you have anything better to do than post critisizing passages about the best singer alive! go fuck yourself, or just go down to the strip club and get a bj! better yet, just shoot yourself in the head, cuz everyone wants you dead now...but leave gerard way the fuck alone! That really pissed me off! Fuck you, you fuckin fuck!

Anonymous said...

you think you're sooo funny don't you? fuck you!!! mcr and gerard way rock! go find a fucking blow up doll named becky and fuck yourself!!! you motherfucking asshole!!! i ain't taking any shit from some fucking prick like you, i love mcr too much! they're the best band in the universe! get a life, get over yourself and act your own age, fucking shithead!

Anonymous said...

hey yOu! f**k you! mcr rocks (its rock btw, mcr roCk) if you not offended By my coMmEnt then im gUnna back it up wIth very loud whIninG! dOnt say That aBout geRRarD WAy He mAkeS my wilLie go haRd

Anonymous said...

umm mcr's good but they're not really emo once you dig a little deeper yeah they like black (clothes eylnier) but they are not meantly disturbed and they do not cut themseves and they don't have a wish to die

i do kinda agree tough about the 13 year old girls yea it annyos the sh!t out of me

Anonymous said...

hu do u think u are ? if u dont like mcr then just leave them the fuck alone and as u can tell by all of the replys u got they dont need a shity little person like you to be their fan any way because they have got millions already and im sure if gerard way met you he wouldnt be so keen on you either and i am 14 an i would fuck him so maybe your right about that but your just jealouse biaaaaach!p.s. mcr rock

elliebootsh8tsyou said...

you fucking cunt,how could ya say sommin like dat,gerard is well fit,unlike you,u sound like a fuckin chav/muva fucker/pedo. if we had to vote on nicest,funnyist hottist coolist guy eva,i know that a bloody teacher would come befor you,a bloody small, fat ,pig nosed, ball of lard would come in frount of you,cuz ud b last,infact a shrimp woud beet ya ,ass hole.

ewllieboots-h8tesyou said...

my friend also agrees,and most people on dis site probly do 2,so fuck u,pussylicking ass hole

Anonymous said...

wow people really get serious like they actually know Gerard personally...as we all know, the "author" of this website page and whatnot is only having fun with a little humor, now dont get me wrong My Chemical Romance is a great band and Gerard Way is tre sexxy but that doesn't mean that this random person should be killed...we all like to have a little fun sometimes and dont tell me you dont enjoy poking a little fun every once an a while...if you said "no" your a fucking liar...so now that we have things cleared up a little, you may continue with your random net surfing that helped you to randomly end up on this weird ass website...enjoy

p.s. putting *s in your curse words does not make them anymore acceptable...if your going to use them, do so. dont be stupid about it

peace, love, and emo fabulosity*,
Lynn

*if you think this is an oxy moron than your a moron and you dont get true emoness your just a FUCKING POSER!!!!!

Anonymous said...

love it

Anonymous said...

When i read this i was like , ":OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" First of MCR rocks!! Emo rocks!! then wth mcr isn't emo..arent they against emo? 0.o (thinks: Dumb fcked up gangsters writing dumb fcked up things -.-)

Anonymous said...

I'm almost 18 and I would be more than happy to let Gerard Arthur Way have his way with me (even though he's 31) because he is HOTT! He is SOOOO not emo, just different from your average Joe, and isn't afraid to be who he is. I admire him and would f**k him if I had the chance.

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Anonymous said...

ok that's fine, i just added even more bran-new emo backgrounds for my blog
http://www.emo-backgrounds.info

Anonymous said...

Hi your website is rocks
Take a look at that funny emo video clip:
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