UUU Gonna Get Raped

Uh-oh. A Venezuelan prison? I’m not even sure Jack Bauer could survive in there, and he’s basically the only thing saving civilization. According to this gentleman, the Venezuelan criminal code is similar to the US, but Venezuela is also highly corrupt, and has gone under 11 constitution changes since the country’s inception, which according to my high level math skills is basically one every other spring.


-Caballero, the peasents are revolting!
-I know, I hate them too...*

Let’s get back into the corruption thing. Isn’t Urbina, like, rich enough to practically buy the entire bloody country? Or at least the parts not already owned by Bobby Abreu, Miguel Cabrera, Carlos Zambrano, or Hugo Chavez? I mean, go to jail, buy the prison, and walk out. Or if there is really that much corruption, just pay the judge off. About one-half year’s worth of an MLB contract should do it. Then he can get back in the show. JaJaJa!! See, that’s a play on words of the website’s name. “On The Show.” Original content and writing? About baseball? Get it?? Nothing???

Ironically enough if Urbina was a lefty, he could probably still get a job once he gets out of prison.

Does this still hurt for you? If so, change your lifestyle.

Hat Tip: Deadspin
*This joke is stolen from somewhere. Monty Python?? If anyone could tell me I'd appreciate it.